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DJRocket says:

July 21, 2010 at 10:20 am

I stumbled across this blog while trying to research my own problem. I’m in my 30′s and married, I e from a very dysfuntional background, my father was he fatherly type, pretty much a sperm donor really. i have 2 older brothers with whom i have ionship. growing up i had ma buddies but usually they fell to the wayside through relationships with girls who wahem to themselves, you probably know the type. i dont have any tact with family these days. i sider myself straight although lately i have really started to pine for male affe, not sex or anything but i suppose a strong male bond with some1. maybe some1 to talk about certain things with and that. i’m not really sure how to articulate it but i suppose i feel i have beeively effected by having n male role models in my life. i envy men who have a real best friend the type you know would do anything for their friend. i have a really good mate who lives some distance away if we get together for a session we usually book a hotel iy as its cheaper than trying to get home. on our last session we had a double and single in the room. we both crashed in the double, i was starkers, he had boxers on. nothing happened although i dont think i would have wanted anything to but i did get a really good if unusual feeling about being so close nad intimate with another man. (if that makes sence) i’ve thought really hard about whether or not i would be open to something happeniween us, a small part of me thinks i would for the experiend probably more importantly to feel loved by a man, but another part of me feels disgusted by it. i re a lot of this es from a childhood without hugs or affe and i know i am a good person who deserves it. i’m happily married, ups and downs but pretty normal. does anyone have any similar stories they could share so i know i am not alone here?

maybebi says:

July 21, 2010 at 9:13 pm

I think it makes total sehere’s something very powerful in a friendship strong enough to be ogether, or nearly naked.

And I’m with you on the need for “brothers”! Missing mine pretty bad these days.

btown1981 says:

August 2, 2010 at 4:07 am

you two should bee ‘brothers’!! :) I myself have had an experieh a ‘best friend’. Him(straight) and I(at the time curious but said I was straight) met about 6 years ago and from the mome we just clicked. I remember us just hangin out and drinkin everyday and we would finish each others sentences and we were the best of friends.

He was 19 at the time and I was 23 whe. He seemed very sihat he was straight aalked about girls and their ‘titties, pussy, etc.’ all the time. And had numerous short relationships with girls. I remember not too long after spending alot of time with each other he told me I was a very good looking guy and if he was gay he would ‘go for me’. I really didnt think much of it at this time because he was still sidered just a good acquaintahen we were road tripping to a friends house one night he was driving and i was the passenger and all of a suddeuro me and kissed me. It was just a short sweet kiss but it was so hot. I remember asking him later that night what that kiss was about he was like ‘nothing i just wao kiss you’.

So time passes on and in the meantime we bee the best of friends and just like brothers. Long story short, I knew his mom before i met him and he lived with his mom still and I would spend a lot of time over at their house hangin out. then I ended up moving in with them because of some financial issues and stuff and they were already like sed family to me anyway. He and I drank a lot together and it seemed when he would get drunk he would tell me he loves me and how sexy I am and eve as far as to tell me his relationship with his current girlfriend at the time wasnt as special as ‘me and him’ and he just liked her to get laid. So Im getting really fused as to what his motives are for me because I always knew I was gay but at this time in my life I wasnt open about it and here is this straight guy that I love so much saying stuff like this to me, it was so fusing. UGH!

I asked him a few times what he means by all this and he would always say its nothing and to quit ‘buggin’ him about it. Then our friendship moved to a level of me sleepio him at night sometimes and we would give each other massages and stuff. I was always to afraid of reje to put any moves on him. We kissed and flirted alot when we were drinking tho. So this went on for like a year or two and at the same time whenever he got a new girlfriend we would quit talking because bottom line I was jealous of that. Im a Leo so I run and hide from stuff like that with a smile on my face(ag like i dont care but really i do). But everytime him and his new girlfriend wouldnt work out he would call me and tell me he misses hangin out with me and he loves me and stuff like that. I had my own place to live at this point btw. And I loved him alot too and at this point just wanted his friendship over anything because I know for a fact he likes girls and it would never work out between me and him as more than friends.

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