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In the part of the world where I live (Uganda and perhaps in other poor tries), homophobia is official policy. I think in such societies, relationships between gay and straight guys are even more difficult. Reading your ent, it appears you would expect me to be open about my sexuality to my straight friends (especially if I am attracted to them and they flirt with me). This would be the logical situation.

Unfortunately because of state saned homophobia, it always feels risky to e out even to your closest “straight” buddy. Most of my “straight” buddy’s would not know much about my sexuality. I put straight in quotes becoz here, it is actually difficult to know your friend’s sexual orientation. So we “know” everyone is straight until proven otherwise.

Being proven otherwise have deadly sequences. As a result, it is very difficult to meet anay person through ordinary living. You tend to meet them through the i. Personally I find myself more attracted to the people I meet in ordinary life probably because I act ordinary and would like my parto act ordinary.

This ag ordinary to some extent means ag straight. So by the time we are flirting, its almost like an experiment. You could end up in bed or no where. Even on bed, still you are not sure whether your friend is expeg anything (both of you finding the situation fusing just like you say in the above ent).

Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. Ofcourse, i feel frustrated to find that a person is willing to share my bed but nothing more. I would never share a bed with another young man (me and my friends are in the 20-3e) if I wasn’t physically in fact sexually attracted to them. I tend to explain this apparent y of my straight friends by the high levels of homophobia in our society sort of making it difficult for young people to even learn about homosexuality. I don’t know if this is a suffit explanation.

I wish I was free to discuss these issues directly with the very friends ed but I just don’t have the ce yet.

maybebi says:

June 2, 2008 at 9:48 pm

Hi again Jona ― I hadn’t realized that you’re all playing “in the dark” about who might be ied in what. That would definitely make it tougher!!

If homosexuality is really so widely ned (by people, not just the gover), why are your friends all flirting with you? Do they flirt with each other? Maybe that’s one side effect of “of course none of us possibly be gay, because that would be illegal” — everyone feels free to “pretend”. Which mostly sucks fuys who are only pretending to pretend ― that is, who actually are gay, instead of just joking about it…. As fusing as that paragraph got, I imagine real life is worse!

When you and your friends (or just your friends, if you’re not into it) do sleep together ― how big a bed? is there casual tact? what kind of clothing? I’ve had friends (well, a very few) where sharing a bed would be no big deal as long as everyone’s got pants on, for instance.

Akashi says:

September 4, 2008 at 12:59 pm

I had an experieh many Asian friends. Actually, Asians are much easier pared to Westerners. We start a friendship like brothers. We hold hands or put your hands on his shoulders wihtout being suspicious to be gay. Asian straingt guys sometimes hold anuy’s hands. They also accpet “brotherly love” very well. You just start to say ” I want to be your brother. Will you accept me as your brother?” and the usually the answer is yes. Then we will share about our life, jobs and you ihem for a sleep over or late dinner. Once you are very intimate (even with a straight guy), you teasingly kiss him on the cheek sometimes. See his rea after the cheeck kissing. If he is OK, you around his shoulders and kiss his cheecks whenever you find an opportunity, It will have to take sometimes to go into aage. The is you have to plan for a big night where you will spend a good dinner with wine and other alcohols. Once you get a litte bit drunk, (not too drunk that you could not do anything), you actally falls onto his laps and slept. He would not deny it when you sleep on his laps. Then bring his hands into your chest or slowly to your croutch- then see his rea if he withdrew his hands. Let him feel your eres. You guide his hand to rub you. It he do not struggle, it is a first step. The kiss his hands, later try to kiss his mouth, (as if you were drunk). If he push away it is OK but you have to pretend that you are drunk and you did not know anything. You murmurs some names of girls. or sometimes, it just works and he will kiss you back, depending on how did you establish your relationship, Then you ask him to toud masturbate for you. It works well. Asking them to mastrubate is also saying that you are not pletely gay but you want some help form you friend ot release your tension. These straight guys feel proud that another man fantisied about them and cum out. They really like to masturbate for you as they really feel proud (not sexually satisfied) but they feel proud because they are attractive to the same gender. But if you start to touch them or masturbate for them, they might freak out. After doing this for several time, you ask the favour that you wao do the same to you (to share your pressure) .. This is your turn to masturbate him or the best, give a good head so that they would remember you for life. They will always ask for oral from you. AFter that, you expand your relationship as much as he allows you. Usually a success and long lasting. But you have to aally friends when going out. I have sucess iing about 6 straight men. Most of them are married now and but they are willing to spend some time with me.

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